Picking up the pieces

It's been just over 2 months since mom died. We are just starting to unthaw from the traumatizing last 7 months. Life is hard and strange. I carry this feeling of disbelief and denial. I rewind and play the last 7 months over in my head and it feels like a dream. Or a really bad movie. I'm still having a hard time accepting this new life. Anytime I look at her picture the tears automatically begin streaming down my face. It's just sad. Nothing good about it at all. Pure, raw, depressing sorrow. We are all trying to pick up the pieces of our hearts that were stomped on. I have tried to keep the girls and myself occupied to ease the pain. Business keeps my mind  from continually replaying this horrible event. I just miss her. I loved her so much. I hope she knows that in heaven. 

I hope she knows how much Isla talks about her and says she misses her. How much Isla has grown and is becoming a little person. 

I hope she knows how much Isla wonders the house looking for her. And how she will always call it grammie's house.

I hope she know what Estelle is up to. How she is such a busybody and is now talking. 

I hope she knows how much we miss her presence during these amazing life events. How much we feel robbed that she isn't there. How much we need her. How much we feel that emptiness.

We love you mom. We miss you so much.